Okay, you've hit ChrisBlackburn.com. But you may or may not be sure just
which Chris Blackburn I am.
You're thinking, "What? You mean there's more than one?"
Sadly, yes. There are probably several hundred Chris Blackburn's in this
fine world of ours. Some are amazingly cool people, yet some are complete embarassments - not only
to the name, but to humanity itself.
You're thinking, "Wait, you can't be serious."
Nope - it's all true. When I was a kid, there was another Chris Blackburn
who went to the same doctor as I did. They got our charts crossed on a regular
basis. Made for some fun times. "So, Chris, how's your arm doing?" "My arm? Uh, fine?
Should there be something wrong with it?"
That being the case, it's entirely possible that someone who knows a Chris
Blackburn will type in ChrisBlackburn.com and expect to find the website belonging
to their long lost friend/lover/enemy. But I'm probably not him/her. (Yes, there are even
female Chris Blackburn's.)
So here's a short list explaining which
Chris Blackburn's I'm not. (At least, the ones I know I'm not.)
I AM NOT
- A soccer player. I do not play for the Chester City Football Club.
- A real estate agent. (I apparently just beat him out for the real dot-com.)
- An alumni of West Point.
Scary, that guy plays Ultimate Frisbee, too. And he's had knee problems. (But his nickname
is Snowball?!?)
- Female. (Check out the next-to-last photo.)
- A fisherman. And I've never been to Alaska.
- A Chiefs fan. My friend's mom is a Chiefs fan, but I like the Bears.
(And I don't live in Savannah.)
- A country music singer. Yes, I sing. No, I do not sing country music.
I DO NOT
- Live in Massachusetts. Yep, there's a guitar-playing Chris Blackburn up there, too. But I am not he.
And I've never written reviews for YourSound.com.
- Have a skateboard park named for me.
Sadly, my namesake passed away, and the park was named in his memory.
- Speak Spanish. And I've never been to Texas A&M University.
- Teach ninth-grade English in Ithaca, NY.
- Belong to a photographic society. I don't even own a camera.
- Sell used IT equipment. Heck, I probably need more IT equipment. But I doubt I'd buy it from my namesake. (No offense.)
- Tab songs. I've played guitar for a long time. But I've never had the patience to write out tablature.
- Care if women breast-feed in public. Seriously, that guy needs therapy.
Oh, and I've never used WebTV.
I HAVE NOT
- Played bass in a band called Coexist. I did
play bass in a band at one point, but that was in 1994-5.
- Worked at McCann's. He only
lasted four months. Ouch.
Updated: September 1 2003
Okay, okay, enough already. This is who I really am.
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